The 87th Skeptics Circle: Dirty Limericks Edition
For a Circle with Skeptical point of view
I do truly hope it won't trouble you
To check 'neath the fold
Although I am told
Some of it's NSFW
An Irishman living with Swedes
Speaks about bodily needs
Eat and drink well
So at sex you'll excel
But vitamins? Useless as weeds
Do genes decide whether you're gay?
Well, Greta Christina would say
Whether pussies or dicks
Just forget politics
For science will show you the way
There once was a God from the Book
A glorious shit he once took
And so strove malign
Evidence of Design
With suffering children forsook
A tubal ligation's no joke
Even for disabled folk
And yet it brings out
Per some Buzzing About
Faulty thinking from many a bloke
Critical thinking's about
More than just ghosties in doubt
When you're money's the thing
And they might be lying
Down the toilet's a preferable route
The AIG guys think they're smart
Since they've managed to pick all apart
The first science-fueled jest
From Bing's great contest
But they've all of the brains of a fart
The Discovery Institute's balls
Must be bigger than China's great walls
Their Hitler thing's thin
When they're blaming Darwin
But now Methodists such blame befalls
"Human dignity's" felt quite a scorch
Stephen Pinker has wielded the torch
'Cause as Bad seems to see
What good's dignity
When you're banging your girl on the porch?
The DORE guys say they are legit
But don't seem to want to admit
That their publishing sucks
And they quack like some ducks
So their claims just aren't worth half a shit
"Where's the harm?" do the woos often ask
Like us skeptics have such a hard task
To elucidate
Why we shower such hate
When they kill under science's mask
In Sweden the Christians do say
That their family's the Only True Way
But as Martin observes
All his local conserv's
Are still left of the U.S. of A
Thaddeus Nelson's in shock
From Discovery's advert of a crock
"Solves joint pain in pets"
But I'd lay down my bets
That a mouth's firmly placed on their cock
There once was a fellow named Foss
Whose brain was a terrible sauce
But to science he turned
And the woo was all spurned
Gave his head to a much better boss
There once was a guy named Orac
Whose insolence missed not a quack
Though he's boss of this shit
He forgot to submit
So in good faith I'll pick up his slack
And that's that, everyone. Check out the next Skeptics Circle in two weeks at Jyunri Kankei.
I do apologize if my limericks were not dirty enough, but refuse to apologize if you feel they were too dirty.
12 comments:
If only I knew how to rhyme
Then I'd write up a poem to praise
The fine job you've done up this time
In only a matter of days
To write up each submission
Into a precise and scannable ditty
But until then I'll only keep wishin'
And dreaming up something more sh****
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at?
Guildenstern: Words, words. They're all we have to go on.
Thanks for inclusion
In this confusion
Of skeptical thought and the like;
You must have been worried
About the quite hurried
Scheduled return of your flight!
This could have unravelled
But inspired by travel
You managed to get it to work.
It looks quite impressive
(If slightly obsessive)
Because rhyming is - oh, bugger!
Oh ho! Good show sir, good show!
Great job on the limericks!
You know, I was thinking this morning, "what kind of gimmick could I use if I hosted a Skeptic's Circle? I know, limericks!" And then I got here.
But then, I'd never be able to work the word "elucidate" into one. So good show, sir, and thanks for the link.
There once was a skeptic named Zoo
Whose submission was flushed down the loo,
But regardless the pain
he shall try once again,
And perhaps our good host will come through
http://knudsensnews.blogspot.com/2008/05/nations-cosmetologists-baffled-by.html
Thank you for taking the time
to work out these skeptical ryhmes
to ponder each choice of word
how wonderfully absurd
this circle is simply sublime
I was reading some blogs on the net
Just be-fore another cig'rette
When my eyesight did rest
On your rhymes. I confess'd:
It's the best of the Skept's, ever, yet!
It wasn't all that long ago
That I hosted a similar show
I did it in rhyme
At an earlier time
Than this one, but that's how things go.
Since when have limericks been news
for espousing skeptical views?
For quite a while
(with a complete lack of style)
I've had rhyming and idiocy suffused.
Perhaps I don't write enough
on current events, and stuff.
It has been some time
since I've posted a rhyme
about the credulous fluff.
Check it out and see what you think.
What? I swear it's a harmless link!
Limericks are still dandy
even when they aren't randy,
and Action Skeptics' are like a cool drink.
There once was a girl called The Nerd
Who rhymed with the skills of a turd.
She started this poem
Then gave up because she can't find anything that rhymes with poem, and it was going nowhere anyway.
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Wide Circles
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