The Return of the Proper Victorian Gentleman

Salutations, old Beans! Back again I come to the defense of Scepticism against its many detractors, a Task which I perform willingly and as politely as possible, as it would simply not do to be nasty in Polite Society.

In a grand show of Courage, one of the fine Gentlemen (or perhaps Ladies) from WikiSynergy, called "Tarantallegra," has brought Debate here to my my very own Home. You can peruse Tarantallegra's thoughts on my Article here, as well as my initial response to the criticisms contained therein, including a Clarification and a Concession on my part. Here, in this Post, however, I plan to make Commentary on an addition made to the Page about which I spoke previously. So then, once more into the Breach!

It begins:

This article has been attacked.

Attacked, Sirs? Why, I take Exception! Criticizing another's Opinions, so long as the Critic remains civil and personable, as is the way of all Ladies and Gentlemen in Polite Society, is hardly an attack. To use such parlance is naught but an ignoble Trick of Rhetoric, a scandalous attempt to take the Moral High Ground whilst making your Opponents look bad. I cast no aspersions but instead engaged in a lengthy and refined Critique of your words, yet you would rather paint me as an Attacker, a Villain, a Dog of War. Such things have no place in Society.

The attack is recommended reading, as it illustrates this article- especially the part where we note that skeptics attack constructive criticism.

Again, Sirs, you use the parlance of War. I am forced to believe, until Evidence should be provided to the contrary, that you are not being entirely honest in your Intentions. I also take exception to your claim that I was "attacking," as you so vulgarly chose to phrase it, "Constructive Criticism." I believe I spelled out, with all due respect, of course, why I felt that your Page was neither Criticism nor Constructive. To ignore my Arguments and simply label my Post an "attack" is to indulge in the sort of Activity you decry among those of a Sceptical View.

The article does make one point which we should put to rest: we do not mean that every single skeptic everywhere is as we describe.

If you believe this truly, Gentlemen, then you should, as soon as possible, posit this Opinion explicitly within the Body of your Page and not as an Addendum to the top.

This is about some general themes within skepticism.

I urge you, again, to experience the Sceptical community rather than simply assuming that even most Sceptics are as you describe them. To speak of "general themes" when one has, I assume, little experience with Sceptics or Scepticism excepting what one has seen on the World Wide Web is to jump the Gun, so to speak.

Also, we are telling the skeptical movement how to win the debate.

Forgive me, Sirs, if I do not take the advice of my opponent when he tells me how to Triumph. It is not within his interests to speak to me with Honesty.

If we weren't being constructive critics, we would not do that.

And, again, Sirs, I must point out that merely thinking yourselves to be Constructive Critics and actually being Constructive Critics are two different things altogether. The main thrust of my initial Post in response to your page (which, I might add, did fire the opening Volley by attacking me without cause) was just that.

We would focus on making them mad so they would keep on losing.

Or, and pardon me if I speak out of turn, you would offer Insults, Blame-shifting, and Non Sequiturs as Constructive Criticism, and decry all those Sceptics that do no toe your Line as "nasty" or "pseudosceptical," all the while protesting that you have but our Best Interests at heart.

Even should you prove yourselves, Gentlemen, to have Intentions that are pure and without Taint, I would still argue that the Article to which those Intentions gave Form is misguided and incorrect, for the reasons I stated before.

I am always willing to change my opinion, Sirs. Good Evidence has, over the course of my life, changed many of my Opinions in Subjects Economic, Philosophic, and others. My Opinions in the Realm of Politics seem to change almost daily lately as new data presents itself. I do not perjure myself thus saying, my good Men; I do not speak thusly merely for the purpose of outward Appearance. My mind can be changed, my Methods amended. With respect, old Friends, it simply takes far more than your collection of "Reasons" to do so.

Assume not that I "attack" you, Sirs (to utilize your own vulgar argot), because I reject all Criticism; think, instead, that my Response took its Form because mayhaps your Page was, as I insisted before, not a whit accurate.

Or, Gentlemen, you may find in yourselves the exact same Attitude you spend so much energy projecting onto those with whom you disagree.

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Damn, Are We Stupid, or Why Most of My Pranks Work

New Scientist has a very interesting article about peoples' habits when taking advice from other people. It summarizes some research the upshot of which is that people tend to take their advice from the most confident source rather than the source with the best track record. They will even forgive a shitty track record if the advisor remains confident in his advice.

The real issue, as the article points out, is what this says about scientists, who generally attempt to remain provisional in their explanations. "Doomed" doesn't begin to describe it.

Combined with the Dunning-Kruger Effect, I think we may have the beginnings of a robust, experimentally-confirmed explanation for why we are so Goddamned stupid as a species: people either believe stupidly in someone else's confidence, or stupidly mistake their own confidence for competence.

Maybe all of this will give birth to a new field: stupidology.

Tip o' the dunce cap to NoBeliefs.com

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The 113th Skeptics Circle

The 113th Meeting of the Skeptics Circle has been posted at The Uncredible Hallq. It's short, but it's sweet, so go check it out. Also, it's from France. You know the French always make good stuff.

Pointless question you may answer if you like (or not; see if I care):

Am I the only one who hates that show The Big Bang Theory?

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Medicine Is Not Ritual

The reading I just finished for one of my classes today is a chapter from a book called Finding Our Tongues by Dean Falk. The chapter is titled "Saying While Soothing," and is an examination of birth and young-infant mothering practices looking at chimps and various nonindustrial cultures. It is mostly an interesting read, and is full of cool facts about how different cultures view childbirth and infancy.

One line, however, was pure poppycock, as the Proper Victorian Gentleman would say.

Following a paragraph on the various ritual and magical practices performed on infants by a number of nonindustrial cultures to either make them stronger or protect them from disease or various supernatural forces. Sometimes the babies are painted, sometimes they're adorned with jewelry; one culture even rolls babies in horse poo to make them less attractive to witches. All of these practices are clearly nonsense, as they either don't do what they're supposed to (in the case of protection from illness), or what they supposedly protect against doesn't actually exist (in the case of witches or spirits).

I can see why the author wouldn't want to say that; he's writing from an anthropological perspective and denigrating those cultural practices, however ridiculous they are, is not in the purview of the book. He is simply describing them, not judging them. But he doesn't just describe them and leave it there. No, he follows that paragraph by saying

Lest these practices seem odd, keep in mind that newborns in American hospitals are typically jabbed for blood samples, diapered, wrapped in blankets, and decorated with identification anklets and pink or blue beanies.

Sorry, Dr. Falk, but I call bullshit on the grounds of false equivalence.

Sure, there are similarities. The treatment of infants in hospitals is regular, regimented, and intended to help protect and maintain infants' health, just like the archaic magical rituals of the nonindustralized cultures. The similarity, however, ends there; such superficial sameness does not entitle one to shout "OMG! Doctors are just like tribal shamans! Medicine is just like tribal magic!"

Part of the reason, certainly, that these practices seem strange to us is that they're not present in our culture. Our style of funerals, the various rituals and practices that go along with death in the West, would seem strange to, say, the !Kung San, or Australian aborigines for much the same reason. That, however, is not the only reason they seem strange; they also seem strange because they're magical nonsense.

The hospital practices Falk names are all done not only for a reason, but with a reason. Blood tests give a wealth of information about the child and its health. Diapers maintain a hygienic environment in the hospital. Blankets keep the child warm. ID tags help ensure that the a baby is not given something intended for another baby, or that babies do not accidentally get switched in the maternity ward.

Blue and pink beanies I can't defend. He has a point there; they're merely cultural tradition. Though they distinguish males from females, it seems silly to think that there is an inherent, natural need to do that at all.

The other medical "rituals" performed on babies, though, are based on either sound science or common sense. They have an intended, beneficent purpose, and the relationship between the action and its purpose is not based on magical thinking.

And think: he didn't try to draw an equivalence between Western cultures' use of diapers or blankets and nonindustrial cultures' use of diapers or blankets. There, the reasoning is mostly the same whether your in a hospital or a jungle: diapers keep the poop contained, and blankets keep the baby from getting cold. Practices that both have and serve a purpose exist in all cultures.

But instead of recognizing that, Dr. Falk used Western use of diapers and blankets as an example of Western post-natal "ritual," while, presumably, traditional use of diapers and blankets is not.

Or who knows? Maybe for him it's all ritual.

Except it's not. Some things work to fulfill their intended purpose, some things don't. Just because the former are regimented in one culture and the latter in another doesn't mean the things are the same, or that they are just different cultural viewpoints on how to treat an infant. Medicine (and science in general) is not ritual.

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In Which I Become a Proper Victorian Gentleman

I was checking my referral pages on my Sitemeter last night and saw a referring site I had never seen before. As is my wont, I clicked it, and what opened was not what I expected.

Apparently, someone set up something called "WikiSynergy," which bills itself as "The Center for Frontier Ideas." With a name like "WikiSynergy," I'd expect it to be "The Center for Corporate Buzzspeak," and have articles on "Teambuilding," "Leveraging," and "Empowerment," but apparently they have chosen WikiSynergy to instead refer to what essentially amounts to parapsychology and pseudomedicine apologetics with a strong and intentional anti-skepticism leaning.

A page titled "Why Skeptics Lose" links to me as an example of a "nasty" skeptic. The entire page is essentially a collection of fallacies, Doggerel, and outright nonsense predicated upon the assumption that skeptics are "losing."

To prove that, despite my unchanged and unchanging mission to annoy stupid people, one woo at a time, I can be a perfectly nice fellow, I'm going to fisk their page, but I'm going to do it politely. When you read this, imagine it in Received Pronunciation and that I look like the guy in the picture above.

I say, friends, these esteemed Gentlemen at WikiSynergy sure do have a lot of strange things to say about Sceptics! I daresay they don't like us very much. They begin their piece by saying

Skepticism is in general acknowledged to be losing the fight.

to which I must reply, with the utmost Apology if my ignorance is causing me to go astray, what Fight, Sirs, are we losing, and what criteria do you use in your certainly exhaustive deliberations to determine victory and loss in this Struggle?

This is debatable within science, but obvious in the arena of public opinion.

With all due respect, chappies, this is a textbook appeal to popularity. I can't say I'm much impressed; the rabble, so to speak, does not determine what is or is not True.

There are probably many reasons reasons for this, and among the possibilities are:

This should be fascinating! Oh, I do so enjoy a good debate!

Skepticism, and sometimes scientific studies contradict common experience. If you or a person you know has, for example, been helped by alternative medicine, you are not likely to believe skeptics when they say it is imaginary, or placebo effect. In such a case, it hardly matters what evidence a skeptic has to support his case.

I must say, my friends, that you can certainly do better than that. Surely you recognize, as do all Men of Intellect and Character, that anecdotal Evidence and personal Experience are inherently biased, yes? While it simply would not do in polite Society to question a man's account of his own Experience, in the hallowed halls of Science, one works to minimize his own perceptual and cognitive biases in such a way as to come as close to the Truth of the matter as the limits of base human Perception allow. Should a proper Gentleman choose to believe other than that shown to be correct by replicable and reliable Evidence, it is certainly his Right, but his choice to ignore good Evidence, or the choice of himself and all of his closest friends, most certainly does not speak badly about Sceptics.

Synergistic effects: if you believe in one thing which science says is not true or not supported, you might be open to others.

Would I be correct, Gentlemen, to interpret this to mean "Sceptics lose because people who believe one thing in the face of Scientific Evidence often will believe other things in the face of Scientific Evidence?" If so, I must again question the Utility of this statement as a mark against Scepticism; if anything, sirs, it seems to indicate that willful ignorance produces more willful ignorance, and again says more of those who believe than those who doubt.

Skeptics are nasty about what they believe. This is not something that believers say about skeptics. It is acknowledged within the skeptical community.

Sirs! Were I not a Proper Gentleman, I would be insulted at your foul Insinuation that all Sceptics are self-consciously and openly "nasty." The esteemed Dr. Carl Sagan most certainly was not, and the Stargazer Dr. Phillip Plait is anything but "nasty." I would ask you to refrain from needless ad hominems in the future.

Being nasty undermines the skeptical case because:

Come now, my friends, surely you do not really believe that being "nasty," however regrettable in polite Society, has anything to do with the Truth of what is being said, do you?

People do not want to listen when others are being nasty.

This may be true, my good men, but it hardly speaks to the Truth of the matter; I believe, and correct me if, in my arrogance, I am wrong, but I believe that ignoring something because of an unpalatable presentation is indeed indulging in the style over substance Fallacy, is it not?

People think that if others are being nasty, it is because they are angry. They are angry because they are threatened. They are threatened because they think they may lose. And they think they may lose because they do not have a good case.

Come now, Sirs. One should not indulge, when discussing Matters of Fact, in the Psychologic ruminations made popular by the Good Doctor Freud. It is unbecoming, for one thing, and "nastiness" does not imply lack of Confidence in one's Message, for another. Sometimes an otherwise genteel Gentleman or Lady is rendered "nasty" by the events of the Day, or the strain of Labour, or the mewling of ignorant Children.

People therefore jump to the conclusion that "anyone who is being nasty is probably wrong."

A conclusion that, I feel it incumbent upon me to point out, is squarely incorrect and has nothing of Logic in it, though I do so with all due Respect.

Example: "Action Skeptics Annoying stupid people, one woo at a time."

Gentlemen, I feel it unfair that you have brought me into your discussion without so much as notifying me. It is impolite, to say the least, to use only my title as an example of the Awful "nastiness" of which you claim Sceptics are so fond without looking deeper into my Writing. You may find "nastiness" there, but then, Sirs, you may not; to judge my entire Book, so to speak, by its proverbial Cover is, at best, disingenuous.

Skeptics preach to the choir. Because skeptics have alienated both other skeptics who do not like nastiness, and believers, they have no real outreach.

With no doubt as to the reliability of your general faculties, Sirs, I must point out that you did earlier claim that Sceptics are all "nasty," but here you admit the existence of non-"nasty" Sceptics. I am awash in Befuddlement and, what is more, I find myself questioning, while, of course, respecting your intellects, kind Sirs, your Supposition that Sceptics have alienated all who are opposed to their Ideas; do not many prominent Sceptics hear daily from those whose Lives and Minds they have changed? I daresay it is so.

Skeptics have a reputation of ignorance.

Sirs, you again insult me instead of dealing with my Claims or supporting your own. You are lucky I am an unflappable Proper Gentleman, or I should lose my Temper.

People study their favorite idea. They read the books on the subject, and they understand it thoroughly. Skeptics who speak on the matter often do not know what they are talking about.

You assume, Sirs, that simply because a Sceptic disagrees with a Believer that he is ignorant, and further that all Believers are Right in their Beliefs, and any who doubt their Proposals simply haven't read enough.

Once a believer has caught skeptics with their intellectual pants down a few times, he starts to think that skeptics in general are uneducated.

Gentlemen, I am surprised at you! You are better Men than to indulge in the Fallacy of hasty generalization.

Skeptics often show general signs of pseudoskepticism.

Pish-posh. "Pseudosceptic" is simply a word dreamt up by those who would demonise Sceptics unfairly without properly examining their Positions. You are better than that, Sirs.

The skeptical community has no means by which to separate out pseudoskeptics from genuine scientific skeptics. The skeptical community is internally uncritical.

You might, my good Men, before you make such broad statements, spend some time in the Sceptical Community; your self-admitted disdain for Sceptics of all stripes does not put you in a proper Position to make such judgements. More to the Point, you are engaging in the Fallacy of "no true Scotsman" (uncouth though Scotsmen may be) in your Attempt to define according to your own Criteria what constitutes a "True" Scientific Sceptic.

The skeptical community rejects and vilifies those who could serve as constructive critics of the movement.

Ah, Sirs, I think you mistake constructive Critics with those who think they are constructive Critics. An easy Mistake to make, certainly, and one I trust you will, in the future, rectify.

In conclusion, my most esteemed Colleagues, it does seem that your entire argument is predicated upon Misunderstandings, Fallacies, and Balderdash. You seem to be content to insult Sceptics and vilify their Methods, as you perceive them, while saying nothing about their Arguments or their Evidence, and presenting less of your own. You rely on Popular Opinion as a barometer of Truth, and indulge those who would reject Criticism out of hand based solely on whether or not it is pleasing to their own Eyes and Ears. You are above such base Strategies, Sirs, and I am disappointed that you would resort to such Tactics. For shame, Sirs, for shame.

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Tuesday Monday eBay: Only the Gods Are Real

I welcome thee, O Friends, to this day's late Monday eBay excursion! Today, we journey across the rainbow bridge Bifröst into the realm of Asgard, dwelling-place of Odin Allfather, Asa-Thor, and the sly god Loki. There we will partake of meat and mead and see the wonders presented to us from many a wootastic eBay merchant.

See, today I ran my search for both "Odin" and "Thor," and came up with some fun stuff. Our first sale:

Item number 130301985160: COMMAND the POWERS of THE NORSE GOD THOR!! HAUNTED RING
ANCIENT EXTREME WEALTH & POWER MAGIC CONTROL YOUR REALM

I want to command the powers of the Norse god Thor! I want to hurl lightning bolts and beat the hell of things with my hammer! Let's see what the merchant has to offer...

I am honored to offer you a Most Magnificent Magic Ring!

I certainly hope you didn't steal it from a dwarf. That would be nothing but trouble. It would all end in tears.

This Ring was blessed by The Norse God Thor!

I bet a "blessing" from Thor is an interesting thing to watch. Christ had the laying-on of hands, Thor had the laying-on of Mjolnir.

Thor is the Mighty God of Thunder and a Norse God of the Highest Aesir Level!

Unfortunately, the Æsir haven't bought the Epic Level Handbook yet, so that's only 20th level. The Jötnar have one, but they aren't sharing.

His Powers will Protect you from Mortal or Metaphysical Foes who would harm you by act, word, or deed!

What's a metaphysical foe? Were Aristotle and Plato metaphysical foes? Or is it like being attacked by an unobserved entity that doesn't actually exist until it kills you?

Place this ring on your altar, or hang it in your home, and all who enter will come under his Protection!

Here's an idea: why don't I wear it on my fucking finger?

The Ring is Infused with Thor’s Extraordinary Energy!

So it will electrocute me?

Wear it on your finger or a chain and Thor will Protect you from despair, worry and fear!

How is this the secondary recommendation? "Hey, I'm gonna sell you this hat! It's amazing! If you put it on top of a balloon, it makes the balloon kind of look like a person! Or I suppose you could wear it, if you really wanted to."

With Thor by your side you will Prosper Financially!

Wait, what?

Your Courage and sense of Adventure will Soar! You will fear Nothing and None!

Okay, that's more like it.

This is a very heavy, very old, and very Powerful Ring! It is solid Sterling Silver, 1 1/8" x 3/4", size 10.75, and weighs a heavy 27.3 grams! It features three, 5 point stars in the band. It is set with a Magic Fire Agate Gemstone of constantly Changing Luminous Colors and Flash!

Ahh, sterling silver. First choice of all magical ringsmiths for the ease with which it can be imbued with Changing Luminous Colors and Flash.

Its Powers are Tremendous! The Ring shows signs of wear over the many years but is still an Exquisite piece of Excellent Quality and Extraordinary Energy!

So it's a used Thor ring. Why, I wonder, would the previous owners have dumped it, if it's so damn useful?

This was one of my Mentor Damen’s most valued Treasures!

I have a shoe I stole from a Big Brother/Big Sister. I wonder if I can sell that on eBay.

He passed it to me on our last visit together, and I have rarely taken it off!

I hear soap works for that.

The God Thor’s Energy is Undeniable!

I might be tempted to agree or disagree if that sentence made any sense.

People will be Amazed at your Transformation and Confidence!

"Gee, Bill, you've been walking taller lately. What's your secret? Wait, no, let me guess. Enzyte? No, couldn't be. That stuff doesn't work. Wait...Did you buy a magical ring that grants you the powers of Thor? I knew it!"

They will marvel at your sudden "Good Luck" and embodiment of Strength!

"Good Luck" in quotes would tend to imply the exact opposite. So really what's being said here is "Wear this ring and you will be hit by a bus."

Pertaining to the financial success condition, though, your subsequent lawsuit will presumably be very lucrative.

It will focus your own Mental and Metaphysical Powers Exponentially!

But what if my powers are only at power level 1?

You will be Astounded at your own Strength and Abilities!

Shit, I already am.

With this Ring you will have the Power to Conquer the World and Manifest all you Desire and Deserve!

Oh, Jesus. You did steal it from a dwarf. Haven't we learned anything from epic German opera?

This is an Extraordinarily Rare opportunity to carry Thor’s Blessings and Protection! Prepare to be to have your life touched by the Gods!

Stuff like that usually ends poorly for mortals. See Odysseus, Achilles, Danaë, Sigmund, Sigurd, etc.

Oh, lord, this next part is inane.

My Story

Many Years Ago....

the ice broke and my family found their way across the water in a small vessel. They settled miles beyond the nearest village and lived in near solitude for years. My sister and brother were born before me. I was born in December at the onset of the nine year winter.

What, did you live in Westeros or something?

Each year the ice broke later and later.

Why would the ice have broken at all if the winter lasted nine years straight?

My family nearly starved. My father attempted to lengthen the fishing season by navigating the dangerous waters.

The dangerous ices, you mean.

In November of the ninth year, he never returned from the sea. We knew the ice and water had claimed him. Nearly a month passed before my mother and elder brother prepared to move the family to live in the nearest village.

Why didn't you do that before dad died?

The four of us set out in the morning, by noon the weather changed and the temperature dropped. As the ice storm began I could see the fear in my mother's eyes. Within an hour, we had lost our way. We huddled under a tree hoping the storm would pass. The three held me in the center to stay warm. The next day, I woke to the sun to find my mother, sister and brother frozen to death.

You killed them. It's all your fault.

I sat for an hour or more crying in the snow before a large man on a huge horse appeared. He dismounted and picked me up. He carried me to them and told me to say goodbye. I cried as he put me on the horse. He told me I would be special, but said nothing more as we rode all day and into the night.

Was there a sign on the horse that said "Free candy?"

I fell asleep as darkness became blackness.

This sounds like something Rick James would say about Charlie Murphy.

Damen spoke softly when I woke that morning on the horse. He said I would be known as Gallan The Norse Warlock and would apprentice with him until I was ready to be on my own.

What are you, like 300 years old?

I would spend the next twelve years with Damen, most of the time in that small house.

Home-school warlocks are so damn pompous, and they don't have any social skills.

After I finished my apprenticeship, I returned many times to seek Damen's advice. Each time I departed wiser and more powerful.

So you were doing work-study?

Early on, it was one escapade and conquest after another. I have lived at the four corners of the world. I have collected treasures, achieved immense power, and enjoyed friendship of many. My time has come, and my manifestations are spent. During this lifetime, I must cast out all my treasure before my day of reckoning.

Oh, I get it. It's just a lame newage reincarnation sales-pitch thing. "These are all real and ancient, but this is my last go-round, so I have to sell it!"

He then goes on about his magical items and provides us with a copy-paste of the initial spiel about Thor's ring. This guy's a hoot. He might be worth watching in the future...

Item number180365054467: Viking Magic Rune Box Attract the Power and Wisdom Odin

VIKING MAGIC

ODIN RUNE BOX

I always wondered where Odin kept his runes.

IF YOU WANT A HEALTHEIR, HAPPIER RICHER LIFE

YOU MUST DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

YOU MUST TAKE ACTION!

I am! I started working out and went back to college!

Oh, wait, you mean something that doesn't actually require work or a time commitment. Natch.

THE INERTIA MUST BE BROKEN OTHERWISE

IT WILL BE SAME O' SAME O'

I hate Same O's. They've got to be the blandest breakfast cereal on the market.

ATTRACT THE POWER, WISDOM

AND KNOWLEDGE OF THE RUNES OF ODIN,

THE ALL-FATHER.

I will attract them with the power of Wikipedia.

Oh wait. You're talking about magic again.

USE VIKING MAGIC TO ATTRACT HEALTH, WEALTH, HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS!

Can I call 'em, or can I call 'em?

UNIVERSAL ENERGY


Power, Wisdom, Knowledge of the Runes, Victory, Success and Happiness exist as energies flowing freely in the Universe.

This isn't Odin; it's Plato.

The new paradigm of the Laws of Quantum Physics tell us that everything that is, was or ever will be exists in the infinite ocean of thinking energy called the Quantum Ocean.

I can't say I've ever heard that one before. Remind me to Google "Quantum Ocean" and see what turns up.

You only need a LITTLE MAGIC to attract these energies into your life. The Magic is called Resonant Frequencies.

Like good vibes?

LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE.

Since Odin, the All-Father is the God of Power, Wisdom, Runes, Victory and Success, all you need to do is to Magically Align yourself with HIM.

His energies will automatically flow into you.

Wow. It's like a really lame Germanic version of The Secret.

THE ODIN MAGICAL RUNE BOX is the Matrix, the Operating Filed, the Working Area, where this exchange of energies will take place.

Wow. It's like a really lame Germanic cyberpunk version of The Secret.

Use Odin's Magical Rune Box to change your life

and solve your problems.

"Yes! Don't work! Just buy shit from me!"

ATTRACT POWER, WISDOM, VICTORY AND SUCCESS

AS WELL AS HEALTH, WEALTH AND HAPPINESS!

"ALL GOOD THINGS!"

QUANTUM PHYSICS


The Universe is teeming with Life Force (Prana, Galama, Chi, Ond, etc) which created everything around us. Even our Gods and Goddesses. Modern scientists are just now starting to understand what our Ancestors knew about Energy and Life Force. They now call it Quantum Physics. Our Ancestors called it the Mind of God the Grand Architect of the Universe. Modern Scientists say it is a Quantum Ocean of Energy.

Okay, now I'm totally lost. What religion are we talking about again?

Why does woo just mix and match whatever sounds good?

HOW THE ODIN MAGICAL RUNE BOX WORKS:

USE THE ODIN BOX TO ATTRACT


HEALTH

WEALTH

SUCCESS

POWER

Yes, I know. You've said that like a million times.

This beautifully hand painted wood box (one of a kind painted by Valkyrie Lory Martin) is the Matrix; the working field where the Energy exchange from the Universe (Quantum Ocean/Mind of God) to you will take place.

Is there a blue pill on it?

You will receive a set of Runes that you can cut out and place into the Rune Box.

So that's a no, then.

You supply the Target (photo, hair, blood or signature) where you want the Energy to flow)

Wait, so now it's voodoo?

Place the Rune or Runes you wish to use inside of the Rune Box with your photo, the small orgone ond generator and the Magic begins

Orgone! He said orgone! He's really getting obscure now.

Runes are Ancient Symbols (keys) that harness the Cosmic Energies of Creation.

Citation needed.

100% MONEY BACK GUARANTEE IF YOU ARE NOT

COMPLETELY HAPPY!

Well, I'm never completely happy, so perhaps I should buy this just so I can return it.

Searching for mythological deities was fun. Maybe next week I'll try Zeus.

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New Comments System

Per some recent suggestions, I've decided to try the Intense Debate commenting system, which has a couple of benefits: from my end, I can apparently band individuals rather easily. From your end, it threads comments for ease of conversation. I didn't convert the old posts, so only posts from here forward will work with ID. I wasn't sure how it would affect the old posts, so I left them as-is.

So leave a couple of comments and we'll test it out and see if I did it right.

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Jesus Hypotheses: The Beginning

Today I'm going to begin a series of short posts I hope to finish by the end of this week. Each post will examine one of the hypotheses advanced to explain the activity of Jesus in the New Testament and rate each for likelihood. My hope is that I'll say something interesting to you, my valued readers, but I'm also doing this in an attempt to work through my own thoughts on the issue. Once they're all done, I'll probably wrap it all up with a conclusion with my final thoughts.

Today, because I don't have much time, I'm going to begin with perhaps the most common explanation among most of the world's religious: the New Testament is an accurate historical portrayal of a real man named Jesus of Nazareth, who is the son of God and who literally performed all of the miracles attributed to him, died on a cross, and rose again from the dead.

I think it goes without saying that I find this particular Jesus hypothesis to be...somewhat wanting. The idea that the New Testament is an accurate historical portrayal of anything is thrown into immediate concern by the discrepancies between the various gospels. Did Jesus ride an ass into Jerusalem, or was it a colt? Did he baptize anyone, or didn't he? What was his exact lineage from David? Who went to the tomb, and what exactly did they find there?

If we were looking at real history, these complications would not be such an issue. We would simply accept that none of the records were fully accurate and attempt to come up with the most likely story. We would recognize that stories change down the years and two millennia later it's hard to know what exactly is the truth, especially without strictly contemporary records.

Christians that advance this hypothesis, however, do not do that; they simply say the Bible is literally true, full stop. These contradictions are hand-waved or ad hocked away, and the writers of the gospels are assumed without proof to have been contemporaries of Jesus, when historians and biblical scholars all know this to be patently false. These stories were not taken down until, at the earliest, at least twenty years after Jesus' purported death.

It is also important to note that real contemporary sources do not corroborate the tales told in the New Testament. The Bible, then, lives in an evangelical vacuum, and its stories, with no objective history to back them up, are questionable at best.

But what about the miracles? Well, Hume's maxim must be applied. What is more miraculous: that the stories were mistaken, embellished, or wholly made-up, or that there was a man who could heal the blind and raise people from the dead? Clearly, any of the former, and probably more besides, are far more likely than the latter.

We have no evidence whatsoever outside the Bible that any such things happened anywhere; you would think that a dead man walking would be big news to some Roman scholar somewhere, but apparently not. More importantly (to me, at least), is that we have no evidence that anything like the miracles described in the Bible can happen at all. They fail not only the all-important evidential test, but they don't even have prior plausibility. There is no reason to suppose that it is even possible to use the laying-on of hands to cure disease or blindness or what have you, and plenty of evidence (see Emily Rosa's study on healing touch) to suppose that it is not possible.

If all Jesus did was walk around preaching, I'd be hard-pressed to question that; it requires no extraordinary evidence to believe that an itinerant preacher existed in Judea about 2000 years ago. To believe that he performed such miracles as walking on water and curing the sick with just his hands? That's something different.

Rising from the dead after almost two days in a tomb, post-crucifixion with a nasty spear-wound in his side? That's something even more different.

And, finally, what about that "Son of God" bit? Well, God has the same problem as miracles: we have no evidence for his existence and no evidence that it is even possible for such a being to exist. To ask me to accept Jesus as the Son of God presupposes a deity, and a rather specific deity at that, and I don't accept the deity-claim, so I cannot therefore accept that Jesus was the son of said deity. With this also goes his ascension into heaven to sit in glory at the right hand of the Father, where His Kingdom will have no end.

In short, this hypothesis can be rejected on the grounds that the Bible is not an accurate historical document, and in fact is internally inconsistent on many facts; it can be rejected on the grounds that miracles do not and probably cannot occur; and it can be rejected on the grounds that there is no evidence for a God in the first place, therefore the claims of godhead made for Jesus of Nazareth are without basis in reality and can be dismissed. To accept this claim, one must make a bevy of untenable assumptions and ignore volumes of good, hard, real evidence, historical and scientific.

Final Summation: Though nothing can be said to be absolutely impossible, this hypothesis has such a small probability of being true that it can be considered functionally 0%.

More to come...

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Sorry, Everyone!

Forgot I had comment moderation on, and that I hadn't entered a notification address. I thought it was a bit silent around here lately, but I didn't even give it a second thought. Oh, well. Mabus hasn't shown back up lately, so moderation is back off.

Maybe I should switch to IntenseDebate or something.

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Epic Win!

So...

Not only will I be attending The Amazing Meeting 7 next month in Las Vegas, there to hang with cool cats like Steve Novella, Adam Savage, and Phil Plait (not to mention The Amazing Randi himself), but the paper I submitted has been accepted and I will be presenting it to the TAM audience on Sunday morning!

How freakin' awesome is that?

Two questions that might be raised: Will I liveblog TAM?

Probably not. That would prevent me from doing other things.

Will I blog about TAM at all?

Absolutely.

Also, I will most definitely make time to go here. For those too lazy to click the link, it's a gym where all the walls and floors are trampolines.

Anyone else gonna be there? Let me know.

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From the Ashes

Ryan's back!

Go say hi, before he takes off again!

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Monday eBay: Attack of the Malevolent Spirits

Today on Monday eBay, we are back again to ghosts. I don't know why, but ghost-related items seem to be one of the more popular categories of nonsense polluting good ol' eBay. Today, I've found a pair of items involving evil spirits: one for summoning them, and one for sending them away.

Under the search term "Poltergeist," I found...

Item Number 110340734290: Curse Them With a Poltergeist- extreme revenge for you!


That isn't actually the picture that went with the auction, but I've decided against using more of those after getting a DMCA notification from our old eBay pal Moonstar7spirits. Google, being bitches, immediately folded (as is their policy with DMCA notifications) and removed the pictures named in the complaint (a complaint that is, as far as I can tell from searching the database, actually nonexistent). I have neither the energy nor the inclination to fight this one, since I have no money for a lawyer and I'm not sure I have a fair use claim anyway, and to avoid further issues and the possible shutdown of the blog, I've decided to use other pictures. If you want to see what goes with the auction, just visit it with the link.

Fucking DMCA.

So, anyway, this item is less an item and more a service: you're paying the seller to inflict a poltergeist on a person of your choosing. Our seller, rayss00, sounds like kind of a dick.

The Ultimate Revenge- a Poltergeist

I don't know that I agree with that assessment. Sometimes the ultimate revenge is as simple as pissing in their Mountain Dew. Sometimes it's as complex as seducing and fucking their wife. I don't think that one can really claim that a poltergeist is an all-purpose revenge for all seasons.

To exact the ultimate in revenge, I now offer a conjured poltergeist! If you really want to get the best of someone, ruin their life and health, scare them to death, this is the listing for you!

So he is actually claiming to be selling an item that will, intentionally and necessarily, ruin, injure, and kill someone. Gotcha. Who needs Terms and Conditions?

I will conjure a real poltergeist and you will have the ability to send it their way, very simple and safe for you!

"No, poltergeist, you shouldn't have taken that left turn at Albuquerque."

Poltergeists are spirits that move objects and make alot of noise, they have the ability to physically manipulate their surroundings. To those that don't understand this the poltergeist is deeply feared!

To those that do understand, the poltergeist is deeply annoying. "Stop fucking with my laundry, goddammit!"

I conjure and bind based on what you tell me about your revenge situation. Then I send you a vessel and a set of easy instructions that send the poltergeist to the person you hate the most.

So it's a custom-built poltergeist? Maybe it can do the Dew-pissing for you. In that case, it might be the ultimate revenge after all.

You are completely safe and free of harm.

Unless, upon deep self-reflection, you realize that you are the person you hate the most.

This will not harm the person, it will not kill them, they will suffer great fear and pain and feel terrible for their bad deeds.

So what about the part where you said "f you really want to get the best of someone, ruin their life and health, scare them to death, this is the listing for you?" I guess that was just hyperbole.

You will of course be guilt free!

This needs a footnote that reads "*If you are a sociopath."

This can also be used for collectors of entities, as true poltergeists are difficult to bind and this should only performed by experts such as myself.

Do entity collectors have conventions? Swap meets? "I'll trade you half-a-dozen djinn and a fallen seraph for that expertly-bound poltergeist." "Throw in a couple of spider vampires and you've got yourself a deal!"

For a unique item and a scary spirit, consider this poltergeist!

I dunno. I'd rather have a Nearly Headless Nick. Can you get one of those?

I am Master Freland, dark arts expert and conjureman.

When I read that, this is what I think:

Hi. I'm Homestar Runner, expert conjureman. I'm also a licensed spellman and enchantman. Nobody has it better than me, right Pom-Pom?"

Trust me for all your dark magick desires!

"For I live in a basement, where it is always dark and full of foul stenches generated by the spirits, no matter what my mother tells you."

Directions will come with this vessel and complete assistance in releasing it.

"1. Open vessel.
2. Realize nothing is happening
3. Sigh in resignation"

I can bind to a ring or to a stone, your choice.

Wow, I get a choice! Which is gothier? You know what? I'll do the stone, because then when no ghost shows up, I can at least bean someone with it.

You are purchasing an authentic entity, a vessel, and instructions for use.

It should come with a number and certificate of authentication, like those Doogie Howser MD commemorative plates I bought when I was really sleep-deprived in 2007.

Our second item today is the polar opposite:

Item Number 350206002087: LARGE CANDLE Remove Hauntings Ghosts Evil Entities Home

LARGE CANDLE

9 inches tall, 9 inches around.

Bow chica bow wow.

Multi blessed to serve you

Oh, it'll serve me, all right.

White "Light, Protection, Aura Cleansing, Blessings, Healing"

"Anal penetration."

Only one large one available!

That's what I told your mother last night, Trebeck.

Can be used after midnight when carried through the home, or used at any hour or day to bless and cleanse the home, sending away negative energy and unwelcome Spirits.

Just don't feed it after midnight.

It will replace the home and space with love and light, protective energy, comfort and peace to all within.

Great, except I still owe on that home, and I don't think my insurance covers "Replacement with love and light."

It will not effect or cause any discomfort to welcome Spirits, energy beings or metaphysical beings that you keep.. only that which is unwelcome.

I love how convenient these things always are. "It will only do exactly what you want it to do, no matter what that is."

My family having lived with Spirits and hauntings for over fourty years understand how difficult it may be at times.

Yeah. Ghosts are like spoiled children. Ghosts: can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em, cause they're already dead.

Not all Spirits are friendly or helpful, there are evil and dangerous entities that can find their way into our lives or have taken refuge in a home or belongings without being invited.

Sometimes they're sent by an expert conjureman!

When they make their existence obvious in harmful and disturbing manners it is time to make them leave...

What I want is a ghostswatter. It's like a flyswatter, except spiritual.

Take back your home, and your life so you can be at peace and comfort once again...

"Living in a space replaced by light, love, and protective energy."

Our paranormal, spirit candles are charged with over 200 spells to guard, protect and strengthen your home, family and self,

Someone spent a lot of XP creating this magic item.

Hex removal, banish negative energies, evil entity/ghost eviction spells, Spirit message spells-that let them know you do not want them around and do not want to be contacted any longer by them,

So like a ghost restraining order.

vision, hearing cleanse spells to keep innocent eyes/ears from seeing/hearing them,

It's one thing to banish the ghosts, but to just block your children from seeing them? Isn't that a bit unethical?

Not as unethical, though, as sending a poltergeist to torment and kill someone.

home cleansing spells, shielding spells, filtering spells-keeps evil from entering your home and only lets light and love in...

But what if I want evil in there sometimes? Like when Buffy and Spike were friends?

When you know they are there, end the discomfort and havoc..

Suddenly this sounds like hemorrhoid cream.

Shadow entities are free will and will make their choices based on their own likes and dislikes.. They are the most comman Spirit nuisance. They can range from slight mischievous to complete havoc.

They are free will? Boy, a lot of philosophers sure are going to be surprised.

Light the candle after midnight, walk through your home allowing the flame's light to fall.. *carry a flame source and relight when it blows out* DO NOT let this detour you from your work....

Because I know I have to leave the room to light up my Zippo.

Carry the candle through the entire home and end where you began.. tell the home you are cleansing it and that the spirits are being sent away without harm...

So apparently "If these walls had ears," they'd hear you droning on about politely asking ghosts to leave.

When you have reached the starting area, blow out your candle.. You will feel the negative energy drain from your body and your home..

No, that's just because you forgot to pay your electric bill again, so they turned your power off. Good thing you're holding a candle!

Repeat this process once a day until the hauntings have ceased
*takes about a week to remove all spirit flow*

So ghosts are like menstruation.

Because this is the largest Spirit candle size, it can be placed in the home and burned to banish negative, the energy will spread throug the home with no need to always carry it. Burn anytime of the day, for about an hour.

Again with the convenience. "No work is necessary and it works anyway!"

This candle is safe to be used by anyone, even those who do not understand the paranormal...

"Even infants, dogs, and retards..."

there is no bad karma, harm or negatives that will come of the use.. you will be safe before, during and after using...

"Unless you drop it and burn your house down, in which case we cannot be held responsible..."

That about does it for this week. Tune in next Monday when we reach again into the grabbag of eBay and see what bites. Maybe there will be aliens!

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